Kay Elle Parker-Walk For Me

This is the 4th book in Kay’s Club Avalon series. It’s also her very first Daddy book. And if anything, I think that Walk For Me shows that Kay should just write some more Daddy books, because this one was really good. So, let’s talk about Alicia and Atticus. This can be read as a standalone, there’s no real big overall storyline like in some series, but there is stuff discussed in this book that happens in previous books.

After the events in the last book, Alicia has been put into a residential facility because her mental health ain’t great, Connie has melted down and is putting herself back together, and Bodie has a high risk pregnancy that means she can’t give Lisha the care that she needs. All the Masters get together and find this facility that’s supposed to be top of the line, and Alicia will be getting all kinds of help. It’s only supposed be temporary, but events happen that made that temporary time a little longer. Now it’s been months, and no one has talked to or seen Alicia in quite some time. Atticus is done with it. He’s going to go in and talk to Alicia and tell her that she needs to at least talk to Connie.

When Atticus gets into the facility, he finds out that it isn’t anywhere near what his investigator said it was like. In fact, it is so far away from what they thought it was that it might as well be on a different planet. Alicia is laying in her own filth, has had her head shaved, can’t get to her wheelchair, and is starving. Worse, she’s accepted that she’s going to die soon, and has stopped fighting. Then in comes Atticus. He sees her, grabs her out of her bed, and puts her into her wheelchair. Then he gets mean, not to Alicia, but to everyone else. He calls the cops, the state, everyone he can call, because she isn’t the only patient there in shit shape.

Atticus takes her to his house, where he already has a space that he has remodeled for her and her needs. Then he calls everyone to let them know what has happened and starts taking care Alicia.

OK, I really didn’t like Alicia in the last book. But, that’s more about all the circumstances surrounding what was going on with Connie and how Connie’s and Lisha’s issues were feeding into each other. I know that Connie thinks that she’s Wonder Woman, but I don’t think that she had enough bandwidth to handle Lisha’s stuff then. She tried though. And she really bonded with Alicia, so that’s all good. As we learn more about Alicia in this book, I really liked her more. Frankly, I’m glad that she killed her parents, because they really, really needed to die. And for more than what we already knew. My youngest brother was a wheelchair user, and some of what we learn about Alicia’s past made me really angry, because I know how vulnerable people with disabilities can be.

I really do like her a lot more now. I do think that she really grew a lot during this book, and a lot of that is down to Atticus, but she learned her own strength in this and in her own value. I think that she might still need to have some growth, but she done good.

Atticus is such a Daddy. He wants to Daddy everyone, up to and including all the other Masters. He’s a merc in his real life, but frankly, even that could be seen as result of his Daddy-ness. I mean, seriously, he’s a Daddy. He really is a good man, even if he has to do someone bad things on occasion, and yup, he does that. I pretty much fell right in love with Atticus when we first met him.

This book really did break me at times. There are some places where it is really hard to read, and it did make me cry. But, the thing is, it put me back together too. Yeah, I cried, but then I would read how much Atticus loved Alicia and what he would say to her, and then I felt like I was all wrapped up in that love too.

OK, that’s it for today. Go check it out! Happy reading!

Kay Elle Parker-Talk For Me

Somehow, and this is a total tragedy, I managed to miss putting this blog post out when Talk for Me came out. I suppose I need to visit Club Avalon and throw myself on the mercy, imagined or non-existant, of the Doms. Threaten a girl with a good time, right? But this is Connie’s book, and I am very happy with it.

Connie has been trying to keep everyone as sane as possible. The past couple of years have been really hard on her group of friends, and she’s trying to help out everyone and their sister. Domme Connie has fallen by the wayside, because she had to let her two boys go, since she couldn’t give them what they needed. She has Dommed anyone in far too long, and it’s itchy inside her. On top of that, she’s carrying a secret, which isn’t making things any easier.

The thing is, Atticus knows her secret. Then again, Atticus knows EVERYTHING. He knows what Connie needs, and right now what she needs is to have someone Top her. You see, she’s a switch, and she has been keeping her subby side under wraps. She has a very good reason for that, but there it is. Atticus is going to bring her into a room and make her let go. If she doesn’t then she isn’t going to really survive.

Thane is new to town and new to Avalon. On his first visit, he saw a woman who fascinated him. Now, on this visit, he sees her again. And maybe follows her and the Dom who takes her into the other room, just a little bit. He wants to know what is going on with her, and he’d like to spend some quality time with her. In this case, following her worked out to his benefit, because Atticus has a discussion with him. Then Atticus introduces him to Connie. They are perfect for each other. They are both switches, and they can help each other meet all their needs.

I highly approve of Thane. He is really sure of who he is and he has no problem with being a switch and submitting to Connie when she needs it or having her submit to him, when necessary. He also has no problem acting as her sub in public so that no one knows her secret, if she wants him to. I like that he really sees Connie, in a way that no one else has seemed to be able to do. Not just that, he is able to get into her head and break down her walls better than anyone else has been able to do, even those who have known her for decades. I think that part of that is that he has a fresh eye and doesn’t have that long relationship, so he can really dig in.

Connie is literally my favorite character in this series, so to see her deteriorate over the past books has hurt my heart. I cried several times reading this because of how much she has gone through and is going through. She is so strong. But that is part of her problem too. She has a hard time asking for help because she wants to be strong for everyone. Connie doesn’t want to let anyone see any weakness in her. She is acting as everyone’s rock, and a crack in the rock is a problem. If she were to break down, it would be spectacular. I am so glad that Thane found her and she found Thane.

I can’t wait for the next book.

Kay Elle Parker-Cry For Me

It’s been a while since we’ve had a Kay book, so I’m quite happy to have her newest here today. Cry For Me is the second book about the Avalon club. We have Anarchy, and yes, that’s her real name, AKA Archie, a sub we met in the last book, and Master Jasper, who we also obviously met in the last book, because well, there has only been one so far, lol. As a quick reminder, at a very bad time during the last book, Archie was there for the Doms of Avalon, and rested right at Jasper’s knee. Now, we’re about 9 months out from the end of the last book.

Archie is pretty much madly in love with Master Jasper. She spends her nights at Avalon, doing her very best to be the most perfect sub ever. She follows Jasper around, watches his scenes, serves him, and hopes that he will see how perfect her submission to him is. So far, it hasn’t worked. In fact, it is so far from working that Jasper has now decided that he’s going to find her a Dom, someone who will actually see her, cherish her, and take care of her. And that’s not him. So, he talks to his friend Master Atticus to see if he will. Atticus says he’ll take care of Archie but that Jasper is a fool.

All seems to be going well, right up until Jasper tells Archie and Atticus decides to scene with her. Jasper has to leave and Archie safe words.

See, Jasper’s problem is that he’s a sadist, and he doesn’t want to hurt Anarchy. She is just too innocent for him, and he knows that as a sadist, it is too easy for him to hurt her, because he has to stay under control. So, he leaves her to Atticus, and in fact, leaves altogether for a couple of weeks, during which Archie absolutely breaks down.

OK, so, Jasper’s sadism isn’t just a kink. It’s more like a fetish. He cannot get aroused without causing someone pain. His father, curses on his name, is a terrible person, a really, really, really terrible person, and he did things to Jasper which closely tied sadism to Jasper’s soul. He likes to play really hard. And he’s good at it. And he doesn’t think that Archie can stand it, but he’s never asked her, which was his first mistake.

I like Jasper. He’s pretty seriously fucked up. Like I said, his parents are monsters. But, he’s worked really hard to get past that. He’s done everything he can to walk away from his parents and their teaching. Instead of being the perfect assassin they wanted, he’s now a landscaper. He’s funneled his sadistic needs into the world of kink, and he treats the subs he plays with really well. He has friends, close friends, and he has his found family. All in all, he’s really just a good guy. Stupid sometimes and I really wanted punch him in his left testicle several times, but that’s what makes a good character, I think. A good character makes you feel things, and Jasper made me feel.

Archie really is a joy and delight. People think that she’s this perfect submissive subbie girl, but she’s really not. I mean, yeah, she is a subbie girl, but she’s smart, sassy, sarcastic, and strong. It’s a surprise to her friends, at least some of them, I think, to find out the real her. She doesn’t like confrontation or attention all that much, but there are times when she is more than willing to stand up for the things that are important. There’s one point where her friend needs her, and Archie stands up to everyone until the world is arranged in the way that she wants it. And not just everyone, but some D-types too. I really liked that. I think that Jasper should’ve talked to her much sooner than he did, but like I said, he’s stupid sometimes.

We didn’t see much of Alicia in this book, but I’m pretty sure that I don’t like her very much. I mean, yeah, she has a shitty background too, but I think that she needs to start coming out of her shell. I have a feeling that she’s maybe hurting Connie in some way, I can’t be having that.

I am worried about Connie. She seems so tired. I hope that we get to see her being happy in the next book, because I really like her.

Ok, that’s all for this one. Go check it out. Happy reading!

Claire Marta & Nia Farrell-Sam

This is the 6th book in Claire and Nia’s Guarded Heart series. Sam is a slight aberration from the other books because it doesn’t follow the MFM layout that the majority of the other books do. This one is MMMF. We have our two gargoyles, Gael and Elijah, our heroine, Sam, but we have a surprise new male. So let’s get into the gig, shall we? Warning, there will be some spoilers, I’ll try to avoid them, but…

Gael, poor Gael, is suffering. He hears the song that was written for him by Etienne. He hears it al the damn time. He can’t get away from it. He’s in a very black state right now, and it’s not getting any better. The more that Etienne is thwarted, the worse it gets for Gael. He’s still holding off from his partner, Elijah. Elijah keeps trying to break through to Gael, for several reasons, but Gael keeps fighting. He barely talks to Elijah, instead staying locked him his room or hidding in the kitchen. He also is nasty to Elijah as often as possible. The only way that Gael can drown out the music he hears is to self-harm.

Elijah is suffering too. He’s not suffering in the same way Gael is, but it’s suffering all the same. He wants to have a connection with his partner. He is very attracted to his partner, so he’d like them to be partners in all kinds of ways, and he’s pretty sure that Gael is attracted to him too, since there was some serious kissing go on at one point. But now, Gael is determined to push him away, and it only gets worse. Elijah feels heartbroken too, because he wants to have that connection, and he feels so isolated from everything and everyone, and he really wants his partner and their mate.

Meanwhile, we have Sam, who is a psychic medium with a ghostly grandmother who likes to pinch the asses of hot guys and who watches Magic Mike on the regular. She also trains dogs, and works with her dog as a search and rescue team. And oh, she can talk to animals. Prince, Willow’s crazy Irish wolfhound puppy, needs some training, so Tobias assigns Gael and Elijah to take the dog to her for training. When Sam manages to work a miracle at the Citadel, everyone decides that they will go down to a local bar and celebrate.

Father James, who was a Catholic priest and who is now an activist and counselor in the area, is also at the bar. He’s bi, and sees Elijah. He and Elijah go to the back and have a significant moment together. When they come back out, there’s a huge fight, and a couple of the gargoyles get hurt. And when the dust clears, it turns out Gael is gone on top of Elijah being hurt.

I knew that this one was going to be a tough read. Not because it’s a hard book or anything, but because it was Gael’s story, and I knew, from what we’ve been able to get from the previous books about his history and from what we’ve seen of Etienne’s behavior, that whatever was going to happen to Gael or anyone involved with Gael would be brutal and possibly worse than anything anyone else went through. And I wasn’t necessarily wrong. I think that some of the stuff that happened to the ladies might’ve been worse, but what happened to Gael is pretty damn horrific, and what happens to Elijah is terrible.

I like Gael, so much. I also hurt for him, again, so much. Even without anything that Etienne may or may not be doing to him, he’s so damaged from the fire at Notre Dame, not just physically, but mentally. He has some serious PTSD and survivor’s guilt going on, and he needs some help to heal with that, more help than James, Sam, and Elijah can give him.

One thing that I really liked about James and Sam is that they are willing to stand up to Tobias and basically tell him to fuck off, only nicer. The reason that they do that is one of the things that has really annoyed me in each book, and that’s all the things that happen to the mates without telling them these things could happen. I understand the reasoning of the gargoyles for doing things the way that they do, but I think that they have seen, time and again, that it isn’t the best way to handle things.

I love Sam’s Grandma. She’s a fucking hoot. I mean, she gets drunk on the crystals at the Citadel. She pinches the asses of all the guys. She may spy on their showers. And oh yeah, she gets frisky with Andre.

I can’t wait for Tobias’ book.

OK, Etienne keeps talking about his spies. I didn’t think that Gael was the way that he was finding out information, but it looks like he was getting some that way. But there are more eyes. Does he mean the ravens or are there more? I can’t wait to find out.

OK, that’s all for this one. Go check it out! Happy reading!

Livia Grant-Expecting It All

First of all, I need to say that I am starting this at 4:45 PM Eastern time, and the Sun has already been done for nearly an hour where I am. I was really tired already, and now my body thinks it’s bedtime. This has nothing to do with the story, I’m just whining. And yawning. A lot. Anyway.

So, now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about Livia’s newest book, Expecting It All. This is the latest book from the Passion Pit series, and is the first one that is a standalone. It’s a couple we’ve already seen and gotten to know, Derek and Rachel. He’s a Daddy and she’s his baby girl. They had been basically a 24/7 couple, but she was pregnant in the last book, and this one is all about that.

So, we start with a 8 month pregnant Rachel leaving a cab so that she can go to the Pit. She hasn’t been there in a while, and Master Derek has taken over doing the shows. Rachel is a little bit worried because she’s pretty sure their marriage is imploding. She and Derek are drifting apart, and it has been a while since any happy sexy fun time have happened, so she’s headed to the Pit to see what’s going on and to see if they can get things back to normal. But when she gets there and sees what’s happening, she ends up with a panic attack.

Derek finds out that Rachel is there and that she’s having a panic attack, and he rushes out to take care of her. Then he takes her home, and they have a talk. And it’s an actual talk, not a euphimism for a spanking. Of course, spankings do happen. Rachel and Derek both talk about what’s going on in their relationship and their fears and worries about it.

You know, so often when we read romance books we see the buildup of the relationship and the end of the story is their HEA, when they get together. But really, that’s the start of their HEA, we just normally don’t get to see all the ever after bits. I mean, yeah, we may get an epilogue that shows a glimpse into what’s happening, or we may see them as secondary or tertiary characters in someone else’s book. But with Rachel and Derek, we know that they got their HEA, so now we get to see the actually EA of the HEA. What I like about this is that it’s not something we see often, so when we do get to see this, I really appreciate it.

Rachel and Derek are at a big change in their relationship. Having a baby is going to drastically change any relationship, no matter what. And that’s if you are vanilla or kinky. I think that adding in a kink would make it even harder, especially one in which Mama is also a baby, like Rachel, and one where you are pretty much 24/7. That’s just a lot of change, period.

I really like that we get to see both Rachel and Derek evolve alone and together. They each grow and change as people. Then their relationship grows and changes. To me, it feels so real. I mean, this is stuff that we all go through when we are in a relationship or even when we aren’t. We all grow and change and as each of us change, our relationships change, no matter what kind of relationship it is. Even you don’t relate to the kink part of Derek and Rachel’s relationship, you can relate to the worries and concerns about how changes are going to affect their relationship and the work that it takes to keep that relationship strong and happy. So, massive kudoes to Livia for that.

OK, nothing below the pic today. Go check this one out! Happy reading!

Kay Elle Parker-The Vampire’s Captive

Kay Elle Parker takes us back into the Midnight Doms world that Lee Savino and Renee Rose created. Today, we’re going to be The Vampire’s Captive, and I wanna know where I can sign up for Colt, I mean, I wouldn’t mind overly much being his captive.

So, we’re in Arizona. Vienna is stuck on the side of the road, in short shorts, a tank top, and flip flops. This normally wouldn’t be a horrible thing in Arizona, but the problem is she’s stuck on the side of the road, 18 miles away from anything. Her tire blew, so she pulled over to the side of the road to fix it. While she was struggling, some lovely people pulled over on the side of the road to help her. And oh, to steal her car, with absolutely everything in it, including her phone, her purse, and all her money. None of the trucks or cars that are driving by stop for her, so she manages to hike herself to a rest area, where she is able to find some boulders with ledges to sit on. While she is hiding herself away there, she hears several cars pull up and a bunch of guys get out and start talking about mobile blood units. Vienna tries so hard to be quiet, but she does let loose with one little gasp.

Colt is meeting with a Russian and another vampire to talk about getting some golden blood humans through. Golden blood people are those who are Rh null. (this is a real thing, and there are legit something like only 40 people in the world have it. I think there are only like 10 people worldwide who are donors.) Anyway, in this world, people with golden blood taste like all the best things in the world combined. So, Colt and his evil associates are breeding and selling golden bloods. Colt lets everyone leave and and pretends to leave, but he comes back to see if he could find the person who gasped. That’s when he found Vienna, who he grabbed and then shoved in his trunk.

OK, this is one of the best parts. Vienna is claustrophobic. That’s not the best thing. The best thing is that after she freaks out, her brain kicks in, and she figures out that she can get the tire iron out of the compartment. So she does. And she smacks the shit out of Colt when he pulls her out of the trunk. That is the best thing. Or at least one of the best things. Superhero Vienna is also the best thing.

I love Vienna. I mean, just absolutely love her. She is strong, fierce, and she will definitely kick your ass, especially if she has steel toed boots. She’s like one of those little cute purse dogs who doesn’t realize how small she is, with a huge dog attitude, and really, she has the badassness to back up the attitude. I kinda want to be her. I think that she and Selene will get along quite well, and they might end up running the world if you let them loose.

I like Colt. He is a very good man. He’s also sneaky and tricksy and determined. He does what he has to so that he can do what is expected of him by those he’s working with. I think that he’s got enough of the Domliness to handle Vienna, but is willing to let her be Vienna, if you know what I mean.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get some stompy boots with steel toes.

I have to admit, I really disliked Lucius at times, I mean to the point of introducing him to the sun at parts of this book. I understand his points, but I am still really mad at him.

OK, that’s all for this one. Go check it out! Happy reading!

Sophie Kisker-Tribute

Before I get started, I need to say that my K button is misbehaving. For someone reason, it keeps wanting to put multiple Ks instead of just one, so if you notice extra letters, it’s because either I or Grammarly missed them.

Anyway, let’s talk about Sophie and her latest book. I’ve missed Sophie’s stories, so I’m glad that she’s back. Tribute is fucking hot, and has a lot of hot fucking. It’s a very Sophie book, because you have non-con, darkness, and hot aliens. So, let’s get into the gig, shall we?

Mena is a human woman. She’s been on a ship for the last 10 of her years. She is one of what is probably the last human beings alive. The Earth was falling apart, and her ship and shipmates got launched quickly out to a planet that they had already sent colonists to. They are pretty sure that the planet is either completely unpopulated or the native beings are so primitive, they can be conquered. Well, they are wrong. The humans are headed to the planet Kazir, which is inhabited by an advanced alien species. And, oh, BTW, the previous human colonists are all dead.

Mik’kal is a senator on Kazir. He’s not just a senator, he’s the second highest senator. He’s been working with other senators to figure out what to do with the humans who are on their way. There are 3 choices. Blow them all out oof the sky, enslave them all, or put them all on a secluded island, after taking some of the humans, both male and female, as a tribute. The 3rd decision is the one that gets chosen. The human captain lets the Senate know who can be taken as tribute. The humans are all going to be put up on auction, but the leader of the planet wants Mik’kal to take one of them.

Of course, Mena is one of the tributes. And she doesn’t like the way that he and another male are talking over her. In fact, I love the comment that Mik’kal says to her about the fact he wouldn’t talk to his furniture before buying it, so why would he talk to her. Well, this pisses Mena all the way off, and she manages to kick him right in the balls. Hard. Which prompts Mik’kal to choose her.

One aspect of this planet is that it has something called nirza. It’s like the force, kinda. It’s an energy that ties the people and the planet together. The natives have to test themselves against the nirza in adolescence to learn to control it. As adults, they have to bleed off that nirza, or things turn ugly. Usually, that’s through violence, so society has created battle simulators and blood sports. Anyone who spends significant time on the planet has to deal with the nirza, not just the native species.

Anyway. Mik’kal is an asshole of huge proportions. He didn’t want a slave, and it’s very obvious. He wanted to just be done with the humans. He doesn’t want to worry about the humans infecting his world. The previous humans were all enslaved, and the rose up and killed themselves, and sometimes their children. He doesn’t want to see that happen again, so just be done with them before that can happen. He’s also a very dominating and domineering asshole. He has a huge dose of nirza and a lot of darkness, which he works very hard to keep controlled, at least before Mena. But for all that he’s an asshole, he’s an honorable man. He really wants the best for his world and his people. He makes the hard choices because it’s his duty, and he willing serves his people.

Mena is in a really hard place. She’s now a slave. She may have spent a lot of time reading hard core kinky books, and playing slap and tickle and spank with her friends, but fantasy is a lot different than what she is dealing with right now. For one thing, in her fantasies, there was the chance that the Master had some feelings for the woman and her needs were being met. That’s not how Mena feels. She feels like she’s just a piece of furniture and that she is going to be in pain for the rest of her life, and she really wants everything to be done if that’s all it’s going to be. She spends a lot of time fighting with herself. Part of her likes parts of what Mik’kal does, and part of her hates it all, and hates him too.

One of the things that makes this so Sophie is that we get to see Mena’s struggle to accept what is happening to her, if she can accept it. That struggle shows up in a lot of Sophie’s books, and it’s a struggle that I really like to watch.

Ugh, the human captain. At least he’s not the worst person in this book, but I will argue that he’s the second worst.

OK, that’s all for this one. Go check it out! Happy reading!

Livia Grant-Defending It All

The 5th book of the Punishment Pit series is here, and in Defending It All, we don’t just get all the kinkery fuckery we’ve been getting in the other books, we also get to see what’s going on with Jake. Boooooo hisssss. We also get a peek at what may end up being a new couple, and it’s going to be interesting, I think.

Markus and Briana are settling into their new routine and adjusting their marriage to their new dynamic, including having a dungeon set up in the basement. Hey, when you’re married to a pain slut, having a home dungeon with all the fun stuff that a pain slut could possibly love to hate and hate to love. Things are starting to settle into something they both like. Markus, though, isn’t as happy as you might thing, being a Domly type with a masochistic sub. You’d think he’d just be thrilled to no end, and he is really, when it comes to Bri, but Jake is still wandering around and after what he did to Bri, Markus wants him to pay amd pay big time. So, he talks to Lukus, who also runs security company, about finding Jake and doing something about him.

Lukus and Tiffany are settling into their relationship. Lukus is going really slow introducing her to the full amount of kinkery fuckery that he’d like to be in, but she has agreed to be in a D/s relationship with him. She still has to step in and question him a lot, but she’s getting better. They are doing really well, and they have admitted to each other that they love one another. But, Tiff is still having nightmares because of Jake, so Lukus is motivated to go find Jake too.

Our new couple appears to be Dylan and Hannah. We don’t know much about either one of them yet, but I hope we’ll see more of them. I think I could like Dylan.

We get to know more about Tiffany’s family in this one. I have to say that I really don’t like most of them, other than her mother and maybe her younger brother, Mateo. Everyone else can go suck rocks. Especially Aiden. He’s just ugh. I mean, I get that they love her and all that, but she’s a 27 year old woman, and is an adult.

I do think that Lukus and Markus are doing a good thing to try and track down Jake, but I think that they shouldn’t keep the ladies out of the loop. I mean, hell, if anyone deserves to be in the loop, it’s totally Briana. We’ll have to keep our eyes out for what is going to happen. One more book, that’s all we have left, and it will be out soon!

Nothing under the pic tonight. Go check it out! Happy reading!

Kay Elle Parker-Black Light: Branded

Kay Elle has carried over a story from the latest Black Light Roulette in Branded. We first met Ava and Master Finnegan back in February, where, among other things, Ava ended up getting fisted. Now, we get the rest of the story. (and yes, I hear Paul Harvey’s voice in my head when I say that. And yes, I know I just totally dated myself, so what, I’m old.)

I don’t normally give content warnings, but I will on this one. There is a lot of talk about cutting and self-harm. If this is something that you have had issues with, please take that under consideration. Read safely and responsibly.

At the end of their night at Black Light East, Finn takes Ava back to his hotel. His plan is for them to spend several hours together, talking, eating, getting to know each other, before he had to fly back out to Montana and back to his ranch. Well, that’s not precisely what happened. Well, they got to know each other much better, Biblically, at least. Bow chicka, bow wow. Finn tells Ava that he really wants her to come to his ranch with him, but he’ll be back in 2 weeks to get her, if she wants to come with him. He wants to make sure that she’s spent plenty of time thinking her decision over.

Fast forward a few weeks, and Ava is now in Montana, learning how to be a rancher. Finn’s ranch is huge, 80k acres, 20k head of cattle, all kind of things going on. She promised him that she would stay within sight of the house, keep her phone with her, and stay out of the pastures unless she has someone with her. Right now, she’s sitting in her favorite spot, where she should be enjoying the beautiful scenery, but her brain is busy. You see, Ava had a very… difficult childhood. Now, she has her father in her brain all the time, and when she is scared, worried, stressed, things seem to be going wrong, so on and so forth, she hears his voice saying horrible things. The only thing that has made her survive that is that she cuts. She promised Finn that she would try to not cut, but right now the voices are so, so, so, so loud that she just jumps on her horse and takes off.

Meanwhile, Finn is trying to run his mega huge ranch and be Ava’s significant other and be her Dom, and try to make his life work the way that he wants it to. It’s his busy season too, all the cows are calfing, which means he needs to be on top of things. Then he calls Ava to see if she got his message about dinner and an early bedtime. When she doesn’t answer, he starts to worry. When she still doesn’t answer, he has to go figure out where she is, and well, things don’t go well.

OK, I like Ava. I’ve been Ava. I am a recovering cutter, and I can really relate to her when she wants to cut and the fight to not do it. I think that Ava does really well at fighting things off as long as she does. She has a lovely heart and she really cares a lot about Finn, the ranch, the horses, and the cows. She wants to be better. There’s one scene, with a baby cow, that I’m just so impressed with her strength and fierceness. It shows that she’s not weak, even if her brain tells her that she is. Here’s the thing about mental illness, it lies. It wiggles into your brain and finds the cracks and lies to you. Lies. LIES. But the lies sound so convincing. It’s hard to beat them.

I like Finn. He’s a really stand up guy. He wants to do the best by all the people in his life and he wants to make sure that all the animals on his ranch are cared for. He does really well with Ava and trying to figure out what he can do to help her. I really like that he realises that he can’t handle everything on his own and that he needs to do some things differently.

I want to give Kay major props for handling the self-harm issues in this book the way that she does. She doesn’t glamorise it or make it look cool. It’s not an easy line to walk, and she did it so well.

UGH on Thomas. Kill him by fire. I thought that he might’ve had inside help from someone else, but I guess not.

Lulu is super cute.

OK, that’s all for this one! Go read it! Happy reading!

Livia Grant-Balancing It All

We’re at the 4th book in the Punishment Pit books with Balancing It All. We’re in the back 9, and we’re building up to all kinds of interesting things. I can’t wait until we get to those things. Again, remember, these books are cliffhangers and when I talk about the book it will spoil the previous book. If you are waiting for all the books to come out to read them, you might want to skip this post and wait for the books to come out. Livia is getting them out quickly, so you won’t have a long wait.

So, we have Tiffany and Lukus starting a relationship and Markus and Briana putting their relationship back together. I’m going to put Markus and Bri on hold for a little bit, and talk about Tiff and Lukus, mostly because we focus more on them in this book.

Tiffany has spent all her dating life up until now in vanilla relationships, and while she has kinky fantasies, she’s been dealing with Jake’s shit for as long as Bri has. Not that Jake hurt her, he just mindfucked her, and not, you know, in a fun way. So, now trying to come up with some kind of D/s relationship with Lukus isn’t easy. She’s slightly scared about everything, and while she’s willing to trust Lukus, she has issues with doing things like looking at contracts.

Then we have Lukus, who has spent his dating life in kinky relationships. Well, being kinky. He’s the Master’s Master, and doesn’t do relationships, and boy howdy, is it obvious. He has his issues, mostly with the fact that he’s dealing with a total newbie, who for all her reading and fantasies, has never been in a real D/s relationship, and up until now, the closest she’s come to it is being a witness to Jake abusing Briana.

Neither one of them are really having it easy here. Tiffany is trying to deal with her brain saying one thing, her heart saying something else, and her body saying a complete third thing. Her heart and her body want to team up, but her brain isn’t quite onboard. Her brain is mostly there, but she overthinks and fights with herself. She’s at the point where she’s finding out what she likes, but there’s a part of her brain that tells her that she’s a freak for liking it. It’s a hard place for her to be. And that makes her feel kind of insecure, I think too. I don’t think it’s a purposeful kind of thing, but there’s something that niggles at her.

Lukus is having his issues with being in a relationship too. Like he’s trying to figure out how to turn off his entire Domly persona. His Dom-ness sometimes wants to be in charge of EVERYTHING, but that’s not the kind of relationship he’s in with Tiffany, and that’s not who Tiffany is, and that’s not what he wants. But it’s his default, so when things go wrong, that’s where he goes. There is one point where it made me really mad at him, because he was jumping when he shouldn’t have. Thank goodness for Derek.

OK, nothing under the again, but I do have one point. There are some piercings that take place in this, and the piercer uses a piercing gun, which wouldn’t happen. Piercing guns tend to cause more trauma to the area than using needles. That’s not a dealbreaker for the book, it’s just a point that I wanted to say something about, as a person who has multiple piercings, including some in interesting places.

Go check the book out! Happy reading!